Alive for Now.

Alive for Now.

In the quietest of

Still moments

In the perfect silence

Between one breath

And the next

 

I become aware

That I am alive

 

When I watch

The dawn break

Like a wave

Over the darkness

And shadows

 

I take a moment

To remember

That I am alive

 

Sometimes when

A stranger

Bumps into me

Or our eyes lock

And we both smile

We see each other

In the reflection

Of another

 

And we tell the other

Without any words

That we are both alive

 

I let myself feel hunger

I let myself enjoy the pain

I loose myself in love

And sometimes

I take things too far

I say what no one

Ever dares to say

I laugh out loud

And I learn from

My mistakes

 

Because I need to feel

Alive

I don’t know any other way

To feel

Alive

 

It all comes crashing in

At the strangest of times

Taking hold of every

Fiber that creates

A reality that seems

So very real

While shaking the core

Of the heart

And the soul

With a simple truth

 

That

I am alive

 

It sneaks in

Unsuspected

And unexpected

But there is no way

To deny

Or stop the progression

Once the journey

Has been started

There are more emotions

And feelings to be felt

 

Because

This is what it means

To live and to be

Alive

 

As much as it seems

Like this should be

A comfort

Or that this thought

Should bring security

 

It can be scary to face

The knowledge that

Our stories end the same

And all

We need to learn

Is how to finally live

Like we are

Really alive

2/6/2013 10:30 AM

See.

See.

Creeping sun invades

Staining the edges

Of darkness

 

Unhinged from time

In the silent void

Of space

 

Do you see?

What they want you

To see

 

Scars leftover

From the battles

Of life

 

Fallen from grace

Fearless in the face

Of death

 

Do you see?

What this journey has done

To me

 

Below the surface

Faceless faces scream

Of nothing

 

Do you see?

What you mean

To me

 

Eventually it comes down

To this moment

Of truth

 

Do you see?

This is a part

Of me

 

Blood stained fingers

Clutch to the edge

Of sanity

 

Do you see?

Those secret places inside

Of me

 

This has always been

A life or death game

Of chance

 

Do you see?

1/31/2013 5:27 AM

In That Place

Slipping back into that place

That far away world of my own

Quietly comforted by the feeling

Of depression

And the weight of the darkness

Too broken for tears

Mistakes have been made

But lessons were also learned

Within the comforting

Embrace of blind belief

Anything seems possible

Too scared to understand the truth

Or just to weak to search for it

Half of these lies are equal

To more than half of our lives

Fate lets the darkness chose

How and when someone survives

Exceptions to the rule

Can always be made

Because everyone wants to feel special

Everyone wants to be loved

Secret hopes born from violent nightmares

Knowledge is power

At least that’s what they say

In the darkness we are all the same

Jaded by time and experience

Learning to take things slow

Breathing in the faint whispers

Vapors left by souls lost in the shadows

There will never be another night like this

Some people say that time

Can heal all wounds

But those same people

Say it is better to have loved and lost

Than to have never loved at all

Everyone tries to live in the light

Believing the are owed something

Pretending life is supposed to be easy

And never once do they consider

Just trying to enjoy the darkness

For whatever it may be worth

Time keeps moving forward

Even in the most perfect of moments

And even when everything

Seems to stand still

Frozen in forever

Drowning in the emotions

Exhausted by the effort

Selfish cravings outweigh

Any logical response

When endings eventually become

New beginnings

Many lives can be lived

In the time it takes to blink

When it is all over

Darkness welcomes us again

Finding a home within

The darkness lets the future

Become the past

Hungering to be remembered

Longing to be immortal

Too stubborn to be resisted

And too honest to be ignored

On a road to nowhere

Stumbling through the dark

Just trying to find a way

A way to make it all work

Somehow there has to be a reason

There has to be a way

When all the rules have been broken

And the illusions have been destroyed

No one will be able to know

If they are alone when

Darkness can consume reality

Leaving nothing

To see here and

Nothing left to believe in

All that is left behind

Is the hope and the dreams

That have long been forgotten

Attracted to Distractions.

Attraction to Distraction.

Today

Tomorrow

Whenever

The day after

Who cares

Now

Or never

Someday

Somehow

Something else

And then

Again

Wait here

Hurry now

Don’t

Be late

Again

And after

Before

Meanwhile

Sometimes

Then again

Here or there

Now

Or then

Begin

Again

Endings

Begin again

After a while

Time flies

Quickly

Dragging by

Realizing

Reality can never

Be realized

Passions procrastinated

Desires dreamed

Whispered screams

Undone

By fate

Battling with destiny

Needing more time

Another dream

Try again

And again

Perfecting

Self-destruction

In the silence

Of another

Night

Screaming seconds

Pass slowly

Singular molecules

Asking

For more

Again

With time

Passing unnoticed

Defined

By ages

Destroyed

In stages

Learn from the

Past

Learn something

That might

Last

5/14/2012 10:16 PM

Sometimes.

Sometimes.

Sometimes it gets old

Sometimes it gets boring

And sometimes

Everything falls apart

Sometimes it’s great

Sometimes it takes too long

And sometimes

Everything goes by too fast

Sometimes it matters

Sometimes it’s easy to do

And sometimes

Everything works perfectly

Sometimes the answers are clear

Sometimes nothing makes sense

And sometimes

Everything takes a turn for the worst

Sometimes there are motives

Sometimes there are consequences

And sometimes

Everything just fades like memories

Sometimes are filled with love

Sometimes are filled with hate

And sometimes

Everything becomes confusing

Sometimes it feels right

Sometimes it feels wrong

And sometimes

Everything becomes hard to feel at all

Sometimes it becomes hard to handle

Sometimes it’s hard to deal

And sometimes

Everything slows back down again

Sometimes the future seems written

Sometimes it feels like there is free will

And sometimes

Everything means forever

And sometimes

This feels like it finally could be enough

Sometimes dreams come true

Sometimes things really do work out in the end

2/23/2012 4:13 AM